A friend of mine sent me a link to this video, of Stephen Colbert saying on his show that he has an "Atone Phone" for Jewish people to call him during the time between Rosh Hashannah and Yom Kippur and to ask forgiveness for anything we may have done to wrong him over the past year. Haha. This is amazing. So... I thought it was just a total fake and there was no way he had actually set this up. Man, was I wrong. Turns out it totally works!!
Here's the video.
And here's the message I left on his answering machine. The best ones get aired on the show!!!!!!!!
Big fan. It's Mike Jutan here. (No, it's not spelled JEWtan, but I know you were thinking that) As a Canadian Jew with immigrant parents, I run a pretty tight ship. But sometimes I'm not as willing as I should be to just take other people's word for it on some stuff.
I was trying to think of how I wronged you over the past year, and I couldn't figure it out. So I just called your number. Laughing to myslef... I wrongly thought, "Oh, that Steven Colbert. This cocamaymee story about 1-888-MOPS-KEY and sharing the number with your Atone Phone... what a LIE. A blantant LIE to your loyal viewers like me."
Wow. Is my face red. Sure looks like you called my bluff and you DO have a Stephen Colbert Atone Phone. I can say with confidence that yes, indeed I HAVE wronged you.
I'm sorry to have doubted your ability to coerce the fine people at 1-888-MOPS-KEY into sharing a number with you. For this I am deeply sorry. I regret having ever doubted ANYTHING you've ever said on the air. And I aim to hold your name in much higher standing in the coming year.
And to you and your whole mishpukha, have a sweet and happy 5768. To you, my somewhat partially goyim brethren, I say L'Chaim!