Wednesday, August 06, 2008

It's crazy, I'm thinkin'

"It's crazy, I'm thinkin' just knowing that the world is round, and here I'm dancing on the ground, am I right side up or upside down? Is this real, or am I dreaming?"
-Dave Matthews, "Crush"

It's been a busy few weeks after getting back from South Africa. Right back into work and a lot of expectations and excitement there. So that was awesome, but of course lots of energy and passion into that (as usual), and along with the busy times and packed weekends, I'm feeling like some chill time is probably a good idea. I did my usual Ferry Bldg chill out on Saturday last week, but this weekend is already set up to be a busy one. I really wanted to get a ZipCar one of the days and just boot around and see some people in the South Bay and in San Rafael but looks like maybe this weekend is already going to be too busy for that?! Crazy times indeed.

So why the DMB quote? Well first off I'm going to the 2 shows to finish off the Dave Matthews summer tour in Berkeley this year and MAN IT IS GOING TO BE FREAKIN' AMAZING. So kinda excited about that, you might say. :)

Also, sometimes I feel like your world gets thrown around a bit. Usually in my case it's because of the way someone treated me, or some snide comment someone said to me, or just generally someone being less-than-nice, or less-than-fair, or less-than-accomodating or less-than-kind or less-than-respectful to me. I can safely say that I'm the kind of person who is pretty comfortable with himself, who is happy about life and all the interesting and awesome and inspiring people that I have the opportunity and true honour of spending my days and weekends with. But I guess sometimes my world gets jolted a bit and the way that I see the world doesn't always come up on par with the way the world (or people) actually are. Having high expectations for yourself, for humanity, for society, for inter-personal relationships... sometimes these expectations can backfire on you when it comes to how other people react. Sometimes I really feel like I'm in an ideal world, and I can change and influence people and the world around me for the better. And sometimes... and thankfully it's JUST sometimes, I feel like the world doesn't want to be changed, and people don't treat each other with respect or decency or kindness. Sometimes the world is not how it should be, and people are less than what you wish and what you'd expect. And sometimes there's not much you can do about it, other than feel all depressed and crappy.

I guess this is my lesson in growing up, my lesson in coming to terms with adulthood, with living away from the comforts of my home and home country and home customs and home life. And sometimes this is scary, upsetting, and stressful. Although, in my ideal world, those things are long gone, packed away in manilla envelopes where they belong, along with my course notes from 2nd year University. I guess you don't really change as you get older, and as I mentioned here, getting older doesn't (and shouldn't) mean getting cynical. But how do you fight off the cynical beast? I guess you need to make sure your guards are up, and when the world and the people in it turn on you for no decent reason, you need to be ready for a defensive counter-attack. :) And I don't mean fighting fire with fire, being arrogant or aggressive or passive-aggressive in return. I mean taking things graciously, explaining your point of view, and remembering always to not be so caught up in how things should be - but instead how they are. Shedding that naivete, and learning to deal with the world and everyone in it on those small occasions when everything isn't on your side... that's probably what it means to really grow up.

Oh. And on that note, I gotta go. Jon Stewart is on, and my ongoing education in American Politics awaits.

And if all that stuff above gets me down, I just gotta look in the mirror and read the t-shirt I was wearing to work today, which says... "I'm really excited to be here." Case and point.

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